MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR
EVERYONE, Thank you!!
I found this minor Article in the NATION of 30th November - the DN2 Relationships supplement. No sign of who may have written it.
Whilst grudgingly admitting that Marriage may have recommendable qualities, the writer then says " I think human marriage (is there any other kind?) has been an ongoing symbol of oppression, and brought a lot of misery to a lot of women."
I cannot disagree with him entirely on that. But many cultures traditionally (without any help from the Christianised and other nations) have seemingly taken it for granted that the woman is there to be used as a servant, if not slave. Perhaps because it is assumed that women are 'weaker' sex, emotionally and temperamentally, men have taken advantage of her. The REAL oppression I feel has come from the chauvinistic spirit and the natural disposition in men to rule and take a superior position. Certainly many women, even today, suffer a life of drudgery and tyranny. I don't think Religion (except when incorrectly and even ignorantly) interpreted, has had anything to do with it. The Bible does not teach such a view of women that devalues or degrades them. JESUS did not teach this.
The Writer continues to point out (again quite rightly) that 'close to 40 per cent of women are murdered by their partners, and close to a third of women report sexual violence from their partners.' And he goes on to suggest that those married in Kenya ran the risk of contracting HIV from their spouses! However to use these facts to suggest we should be wary of, and even to keep away from Marriage, is not a strong enough argument for us to do so. After 44 years of marriage I feel I can say this for sure, and even to add that it has done us both good as husband and wife. But no doubt part of this has been that I am not addicted to alcohol, nor spending my nights with other women! Faithfulness had to be in a Marriage; both sides learning to trust each other's faithfulness to each other. Additionally Esther and I have been able to converse and share our life and thought together on an equal basis, honouring each others intellect and giving place to each others opinion and ideas. The Writer of the Article rightly points out that this is not always the case. WHY?
We have grown to value each other, and not to desire the other's hurt or injury in any way. In the doing of all this we have generally accepted that Marriage has been good for us, and that we can strongly recommend it to everyone - provided they are willing to honour each other as equals. We are not special people, as people go. We have tried to be sensible, caring, understanding, and appreciable of each other's person, willing to suffer and forgive each other in love.
Jesus said in the Gospel of Mathew, chapter 19 verse 12 - 'There are some eunuchs (men unable to perform sexual intercourse) which were so born from their mother's womb (born impotent or with some other physical complication); and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake...'
SOME may not be able to take on Marriage, for the simple fact of physical deformity, physical injury or mutilation by others, and even because they have felt in their spirit that they need to give up the entire idea of sexual intercourse and matrimonial responsibility in order to devote all their time and energy to serving God. From this aspect and point of view I have to be willing to see, with the writer of the Nation article, that Marriage may NOT be for everyone. But I cannot but think that the first two reasons given for being a eunuch generally result in a deep sense of sadness that marriage is out of the question for them sexually. I think many others in the third category, who have decided to remain unmarried as part of their entire dedication and giving of themselves to God, may also end up regretting that decision, leading them into temptations some cannot resist. They are to be pitied. But they also tend to make me feel that even they, many of them if they were permitted, would Marry rather burn in their hidden lusts. They made their choice, no doubt sincerely and purely - but not always because GOD wanted them to do so...........HE does not need that everyone who wants to serve and please Him should be alone. It has never been GOOD for a man to be alone, and it was for THIS reason that God performed the miracle of giving Man a 'purpose made companion' to fulfil his every need physically and spiritually as his equal. Marriage IS GOOD for all, but it must be one man + one woman only. There is NO scriptural or any other evidence that there is any other kind of marriage that can work as intended by the Inventor and Creator. Do not be tempted to use the words of Jesus against Him / or me; Gay men and women are NOT born gay! This is a misnomer repudiated by the best and most accepted of this world's Geneticists. Jesus was talking, in Matthew 19, of Marriage, relative to the matter of physical intercourse within that marriage. He was not referring to those who can only be comfortable with the same sex. He NEVER did reverse any statement or previous Biblical commentary relative to being homosexual or to the homosexual persuasion.
Of course I am not referring to loose connections or relationships of the old 'Come we Stay' category; such do not constitute a true 'marriage' done in the sight of, and with the Blessing of God. Take care that you understand what you do, and what you approve of. But it is written in the Book of Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 - 'Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled....' The Amplified Translation of this verse puts it plainer and in full -
We have grown to value each other, and not to desire the other's hurt or injury in any way. In the doing of all this we have generally accepted that Marriage has been good for us, and that we can strongly recommend it to everyone - provided they are willing to honour each other as equals. We are not special people, as people go. We have tried to be sensible, caring, understanding, and appreciable of each other's person, willing to suffer and forgive each other in love.
Jesus said in the Gospel of Mathew, chapter 19 verse 12 - 'There are some eunuchs (men unable to perform sexual intercourse) which were so born from their mother's womb (born impotent or with some other physical complication); and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake...'
SOME may not be able to take on Marriage, for the simple fact of physical deformity, physical injury or mutilation by others, and even because they have felt in their spirit that they need to give up the entire idea of sexual intercourse and matrimonial responsibility in order to devote all their time and energy to serving God. From this aspect and point of view I have to be willing to see, with the writer of the Nation article, that Marriage may NOT be for everyone. But I cannot but think that the first two reasons given for being a eunuch generally result in a deep sense of sadness that marriage is out of the question for them sexually. I think many others in the third category, who have decided to remain unmarried as part of their entire dedication and giving of themselves to God, may also end up regretting that decision, leading them into temptations some cannot resist. They are to be pitied. But they also tend to make me feel that even they, many of them if they were permitted, would Marry rather burn in their hidden lusts. They made their choice, no doubt sincerely and purely - but not always because GOD wanted them to do so...........HE does not need that everyone who wants to serve and please Him should be alone. It has never been GOOD for a man to be alone, and it was for THIS reason that God performed the miracle of giving Man a 'purpose made companion' to fulfil his every need physically and spiritually as his equal. Marriage IS GOOD for all, but it must be one man + one woman only. There is NO scriptural or any other evidence that there is any other kind of marriage that can work as intended by the Inventor and Creator. Do not be tempted to use the words of Jesus against Him / or me; Gay men and women are NOT born gay! This is a misnomer repudiated by the best and most accepted of this world's Geneticists. Jesus was talking, in Matthew 19, of Marriage, relative to the matter of physical intercourse within that marriage. He was not referring to those who can only be comfortable with the same sex. He NEVER did reverse any statement or previous Biblical commentary relative to being homosexual or to the homosexual persuasion.
Of course I am not referring to loose connections or relationships of the old 'Come we Stay' category; such do not constitute a true 'marriage' done in the sight of, and with the Blessing of God. Take care that you understand what you do, and what you approve of. But it is written in the Book of Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 - 'Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled....' The Amplified Translation of this verse puts it plainer and in full -
Let MARRIAGE be held in honour
(esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things.
And so let the marriage bed be undefiled
(kept undishonoured)
For God will judge and punish the unchaste
(all guilty of sexual vice) and adulterous'
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